Out of My Mind

Transition episode, but at first glance, it looks like one of the "slice of life" metaplot episodes. And it is, beginning the Ben/Glory plot by introducing Ben and setting up the whole Mom has a brain problem--the Big Bad for this season is introduced, but we don't know it yet.

And last season hasn't quite ended: Spike is still dealing with the chip in his head, and Riley is still dealing with the complications caused late doctor's experiments and Riley's relationship with the Initiative. The link between all the slices is physical well-being: Joyce's trip to the hospital, Riley's and Spike's surgeries. At first glance, this episode seems overtly dealing with the physical conditions of life.

But underneath it, a different theme is being explored: love. Riley, who admitted earlier that he knows Buffy doesn't love him like he wishes she does, now admits that he would rather die than lose his superpowers--Buffy is getting stronger all the time, Buffy's history suggests that if he isn't unique, he's going to be history too. Buffy argues this, insisting that she's opened up to him like no one ever before, defining love in terms of emotional connection and trust...which in the next couple episodes we'll see isn't accurate; she tells Spike things she doesn't tell Riley, implying that the emotional connection she has is not as strong with Riley as she claims. Riley knows Buffy well, better than she knows herself. She is not deep and insightful; she de-stresses by killing things. She's an action figure, not a fashion Barbie or a Buddha statue. She may not realize it, but Riley is probably right. She wants to be challenged and tested by her partner; without his augmentation, he is Clark Kent, not Superman. Even though Buffy would hate to admit it, Riley at that point becomes someone she protects, not an equal--he's right that her definition of love includes dynamic that will be missing after he becomes "normal."

Camera to Spike. He wants to become "normal," which for a vampire means able to kill. As long as he can't, Buffy's code of honor won't let her kill him. He's "safe." But he's not, really. Fighting beside Buffy, he's her equal--and the opening tag, where both Spike and Riley interrupt her as she is patrolling, comically makes the point that at the beginning, there is an equality between the three; all are capable warriors, and grudgingly accept that.

The end of the opening tag, just like the end of the closing tag, focus on the counterpoint to Riley's love for Buffy. Riley is the white milk, picket fences Iowa boyfriend. There's passion, but that's not the defining quality of Buffy/Riley. Spike, however--he's all passion. At the beginning, his hate for Buffy, his desire to make her neck his chalice--passion, but negative.

The ending, though--a dream, foreshadowing the next couple seasons--has her coming to kill him (or threatening to, again...), when they kiss as passionately as they are capable of, then Spike declares his love for her. Note, not that he wants her, or any other passion/sex/emotional word. He baldly states he loves her, in the dream, which shocks him awake. The closing image is not that ambiguous: the emotion in the dream was true, and Spike is reeling from admitting it to himself.

Logically, Riley is everything Angel couldn't be--he's the man Buffy could grow old with and have a normal life with, and there could be just enough passion to make life bearable. They have shared values, shared dreams--love, as many people would define it. BUT Spike, he's the passion. Well, so far he's the only one who recognizes it as romantic, but this is the turning point for both Riley's and Spike's relationships with Buffy, even though Buffy never quite figures that out.

OH--and the title? I think it's Spike saying that. He wants the chip out of his head, but he also knows he's out of his mind for loving Buffy. However, it could be taken other ways....still thinking about that.