The Dance Scene, yea, that one. It's as close as Buffy ever comes to a orgy, with her managing to hurt Angel, Xander and Willow all reeling in various ways from Buffy's ultra-seductive dance with (to? for? around?) Xander. The dance hurts Willow, who is raptly watching Xander "dance" with his dream girl. It hurts Angel, who admits in an other episode that even though he knows it's stupid to be jealous of a 17 year old kid, he is--Buffy's never danced like that for him. And, arguably most importantly, it hurts Xander. He starts out holding her, dancing some, but watch. As she gets closer and her movements become more languid, Xander stops moving completely, face blank, then slightly pained--then, subtly clenching and unclenching his jaw. He knows he's being used, he knows that she's intending to hurt when she asks, whispering and sultry, "Did I ever thank you for saving my life?...Don't you wish I would?" then walking away, leaving him on the dance floor, wounded.
Notice that it's after that when Xander tells Buffy he will kill her if Willow is hurt, and the process of Xander getting a more realistic view of his dream girl. Also notice that Cordelia talks to Buffy about trying to be the Queen of Mean after the dance with Xander--it seems that Cordy is more aware of Xander than she admits.
So what's the point? Not just that Buffy is mean, although Capt. Obvious is nodding now. Also, when she's hurt, she pulls away and splits the group, who are usually her greatest strength.
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